“Let’s pee in the corner” …..and other misheard things in life.

Let’s pee in the corner, and other misheard things in life.

A while back my Lead Pastor, Worship Pastor and I were talking about misheard Lyrics. As friends, we busted up laughing. There are so many songs out there that it is easy to mishear some, and when you do it can be funny.

So I want to share with you my a list of 10 misheard lyrics that I think are super funny!

  1. Starship – We Built This City
    Misheard lyrics: We built this city, We built this city on sausage rolls
    Actual lyrics: “We built this city, we built this city on rock an’ roll”
  2. Queen – We Will Rock You
    Misheard lyrics: “Kicking your cat all over the place”
    Actual lyrics: “Kicking your can all over the place.”
  3. Cutting Crew – I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
    Misheard lyrics: “I just died in your barn tonight, mustard no mayonnaise instead”
    Actual lyrics: “I just died in your arms tonight, It must have been something you said”
  4. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart
    Misheard lyrics: “Nothing I can say, I’m totally blitzed by a fart”
    Actual lyrics: “Nothing I can say, A total eclipse of the heart”
  5. Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’
    Misheard lyrics: “Working hard to get my meal. Everybody wants a grill”
    Actual lyrics: “Working hard to get my fill. Everybody wants a thrill”
  6. Bon Jovi – Living On A Prayer
    Misheard lyrics: “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not”
    Actual lyrics: “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not”
  7. Elton John – Tiny Dancer
    Misheard lyrics: “Hold me closer, Tony Danza”
    Actual lyric: “Hold me closer, tiny dancer”
  8. OutKast – Hey Ya
    Misheard lyrics: “Shake it, shake it, shake it like a polar bear ninja”
    Actual lyrics: “Shake it, Shake it, Shake it like a Polaroid picture”
  9. Guns N Roses – Knocking on Heaven’s Door
    Misheard Lyrics: “Mama, put my gum on the ground, I can’t chew it anymore”
    Actual Lyrics: “Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can’t shoot them anymore”

And my number one is….

Continue reading ““Let’s pee in the corner” …..and other misheard things in life.”

Spider-Man: The Truth About Lies

Spider-Man:The Truth About Lies

There is a lot of buzz going on about Spider-Man lately. It brought in over $1 Billion in the box office, making it the third Marvel movie this year to do so. With this to say, the Marvel and Sony agreement have not been looking so good, and it appears that we might not see our friendly neighborhood Spidey in an MCU movie…at least anytime soon.

Bruce Campbell as Mysterio

Spider-Man: Far From Home was an awesome movie in my opinion! The acting was great, and Jake Gyllenhaal as Mysterio was a very good cast (Even though I had been hoping for Bruce Campbell as Mysterio for like 10 years)  Far From Home has been out of theaters for some time now and hitting DVD/Blu-Ray release at the end of this month. This post has some spoilers, so you are warned.

The controversy over the Sony-Marvel deal wasn’t the only thing with Spider-Man that gave us trust issues. This was a movie is packed with secrets. Peter struggles to keep his identity as Spider-Man a secret. Mysterio keeps his true powers and motives a secret. We discover a huge secret about Nick Fury in the end credits scene. It’s hard to find the truth in all of this.

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God of the Magic

God of the Magic Lamp

Disney’s live-action Aladdin is due to hit video release here in September. While I have not seen it, I do know that I, as a child in the 90’s, loved the original animated movie, so I’m willing to give this a shot. If you have never seen either one of the Aladdin movies then I don’t know what you are doing with your life, because the animated is a movie classic that had some really great talent and takeaways. Anyways… I bring this up because I have been in a lot of conversations lately about prayer, and what it really means to pray to God. You may be asking yourself “John how does Aladdin have anything to do with prayer?” Allow me to explain. I believe how we view God, reflects how we interact with Him. I have a lot of analogies on how a lot of people view God, and one of them is the view of God as this all-powerful genie that is here to grant us wishes.

Aladdin: You’re a prisoner?
Genie: It’s all part and parcel, the whole genie gig.
[grows to a gigantic size]
Genie: Phenomenal cosmic powers!
[shrinks down inside the lamp]
Genie: Itty bitty living space!

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Is Your Marriage Rad or Bad: 10 Tips to Help

Is your marriage rad or bad? 10 tips to help

This week is my 4th wedding anniversary! Our marriage is really good, and if you are new to my story, at first glance you would never know that 4 years ago we were also struggling to stay married. Let me tell you, marriage is a rad and beautiful thing, that God entrusts us to manage and maintain. It’s not easy at times, and no matter how much you love your spouse, if you neglect even the smallest things in your marriage you are risking throwing it down the drain. As I said, I know because I’ve been there.

No one goes to bed saying “I’m going to trash my marriage. I invited another person into my life to live with me until death does us part, and I want to destroy this person now.” If you did go to bed saying this, then there are some underlying issues somewhere in your life, but for the most part, this is not a normal thought.

I have loved my wife for a long time, and I never thought that I was ever going to be one of thous statistic. 40-50% of marriages end in a divorce, and that is crazy stupid. So, as mentioned, a few years ago my wife and I were about to split shortly after we got married. Long story short, I was not properly tending to my marriage like I should, and it is only due to God’s grace and mercy that saved it. It was one of the hardest times in my life and I never felt so afraid.

My wife and I have reconciled, and have been working together to make our marriage the way God intends it to be, and everything is great! When we broke up I tried to fix things my way but was only making things worse. I was digging myself deeper and deeper and the only way out was to give up. So I gave up on trying to do it alone, and I gave my marriage to God and trusted that he was going to take care of us. I spent those months not only praying and fighting for my marriage, but studying what it means to love someone, and how to take care of it. I would now love to share all the information that I have came across over the years of studying a Godly marriage because I would never in a million years wish that pain on anyone.

Continue reading “Is Your Marriage Rad or Bad: 10 Tips to Help”

“God, what are you trying to teach me?”

“God, what are you trying to teach me”

So I have not posted much in the past two months. I’ve been busy and June hit me hard, I mean really hard. I was sick and stressed, and had a hard time of recovery.  I’m the type of person that will wait until I absolutely have to go to the doctor before I go. So, I was feeling really cruddy and did what everyone else does, and I looked up my symptoms online. With fevers, boating, sharp pain, tiredness, all the symptoms pointed to possible appendicitis. You know the alien bursting out of your chest kind of pain. Yeah… so I went to Urgent Care. I waited, and waited, and when I finally got in, they asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas, but that it could be appendicitis, said they couldn’t help me with that and if it was like that the next day to go to the ER for a CT Scan, and then charged me $300.

Well, that sucked….and guess what. I did not feel good the next day. I waited until about midday and then had my wife take me to the ER. So we are in the waiting room with the kids. We waited and waited, and then I let me wife take the kids home, and told her I would call her for a pickup. When I finally got in, I laid in my gown for maybe an hour in a really cold room, then finally someone came in, asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas and sent me on my way…with a bigger bill (cough, cough)

I was still feeling sick, and worn out from being dehydrated. I called my wife to pick me up. I waited and waited…and waited. In turns out, while my wife was on the way to turn in to the hospital, the transmission of our van blew out, which turned out to cost more than what we paid for the van. “Uhhhhh, why God are you testing me this week?” was what I was thinking.

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God Loves You More Than 3000

God loves you more than 3000

In my latest post This is the Endgame I had wrote about God’s final plan, and how Jesus defeats death. The question is why? We see in the bible that God has had a few time to wipe us out and start over. We have caused many issues for God, yet He never gives upon us. Why? Why, set plans in motion to redeem us, when all we do is destroy this world, hurt people and even deny God?

Endgame Spoilers ahead.

In Avengers Endgame we see Iron Man make one last snap to destroy Thanos. Despite his rocky relationship with his fellow teammates, he gives it all he has to subdue his enemy. He knows that the snap severely injured Thanos and the Hulk and that he will not survive. Why did he do that?

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This is the Endgame

This is the Endgame

I’ve given it about a month now to really let people process Avenger’s Endgame and to avoid spoiling it for people. I will be doing a few posts regarding Avenger’s Endgame. First I want to address that there will be spoilers in this post if you still haven’t seen the movie and have managed to dodge any spoilers, you are fairly warned now.

This movie hit me hard from the first 5 minutes.  The thought that my family just disappearing in front of my eyes, and being left alone horrifies me. Way to go Marvel for making Dad’s across the world cry the first 5 minutes of an action-packed superhero movie. I mean I thought that Infinity War hit me hard with Spidey saying “I don’t feel so good”

As a longtime comic fanboy and seeing every Marvel movie in theaters since day one, this movie and journey have been a long and bumpy journey all leading up to this one moment. Cue up the Phil Collins drums, as I have been waiting for this moment all my life….well not all my life, but it has been anticipated for a very long while.

Continue reading “This is the Endgame”