Father’s day has been a tough day so far, and in general has historically been a hard day for me. There are some days when you want to put your kids in a sleeper hold, but you don’t. You embrace them instead. True story, but I have lost all fist fights against my dad.
I’m not the best dad in the world by far, but a lesson I learned from my dad, is to be there for my kids, because I’m battling a lot of daddy issues because he wasn’t. I see the damage done in my life, and my brother’s and sister’s life and I don’t want that for my kids.
And while at times I may be battle some of those demons of the past, and may even have moments of bitterness because of all the childhood issues, I see the silver lining. I see hope…..
My broken relationship with my dad pushed me to our heavenly Father. It allowed people to intercede, and some stepped up to help father me in times of need. If my relationship was any less with my dad, and just blah, I might not have have been pushed. I might have gone in a different direction.
I look at the way things went for my dad, and wonder if in the same boat would I have done things differently. I’ve been very close on many things over the years that could have destroyed my family…..and that is when God says I forgive you. When grace and love washes me clean for another day.
Ive seen my dad grow in areas, and I do believe at times he is getting better.(something I pray a lot about) We have an on and off relationship and as of this time it’s off. I have not seen or heard from him in a few years, and sometimes it kills me, but if you know my story in any detail, I could easily justify it in a worldly way to not forgive my dad, but the lesson I learned from my Father in Heaven is forgive and love others. So for me to be the dad my kids need me to be, I have forgiven my dad. To show him forgiveness and grace, like God shows me, even though he might reject it. To love and forgive my kids, to allow room for grace, and refrain from fist fights or sleeper holds.
This is a lesson we all need to hear lately.
I get to raise three awesome kids of my own, but because of my past, I do have a heart for teenagers that might also have a variety of daddy issue, so God has also put me in the path of some teenagers that have at point blank asked me to be a father figure or asked for fatherly advice. We are called to father the fatherless…but what does that mean?
My final thought on this long post, is that being a father isn’t just being a male that helps biologically reproduce another human, but in fact show the love and grace of God. To instill life lessons and directing us to to be kind to each other, always, no matter what color another person is, or what gender they identify as, or who the love,, or what other differences there may be.
If you are wrestling with daddy issues, I get it, but you can not move on unless you forgive. You will eat yourself up. If you are a dad in this boat, it is never to late to ask for forgiveness. Mend those relationships.
So to the single mom that tried her best to raise me, the multitude of women that helped parent me, the teacher’s who didn’t give up on me, the very few men who could break through my guarded heart, the ones that can’t have bio kids and the ones raising other people’s bio kids, the ones that as and adult are old enough that you could be my father and walk with me in life, and yes even my dad, I wish you all a Happy Father’s Day