“the church” failed me…

I read a Facebook post this morning, with the post claiming that “the church” (not my particular church) turns a blind eye on mental illness and chalks it up to not having enough faith. It is another “the church failed us” story. I hear this person’s heart, I really do, but this post makes me mad and concerned as a whole. While it was this person’s version of the truth, I don’t believe it is the truth. Have I seen some church people like that? sure. I’ve seen sex scandals, extortion, manipulation, mistrust and all sorts of things come from people of “the church”, but to say this is what the Church is about, is false.

I’ve been seeing these kinds of post a lot. I now refer to them as “the church” posts, and usually has something to do with how the church failed an individual.

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Choosing Joy

This past year, I’ve barely posted a blog. There was a lot going on and being involved in ministry and technology I didn’t get to slow down. 2020 was a year that for most was full of pain and hurt for many. I’ve been fortunate enough that my family was not impacted like most. During this year, I’ve grown a lot and tried some new things, some I’m going to cover in a different blog post with a life update, but the one thing I’m going to mention here is that I preached my first sermon.

Now, preaching is not my first calling, but I had something on my heart and a different platform to us at the moment. I had a lot of fun with it and look forward to preaching a few more times this upcoming year. It was my privilege to get to preach on the last Sunday of 2020. During a time we are planning on the new year, and maybe a little broken around the holidays, especially if you were unable to see family, it could be so easy to say how much 2020 just sucked, and how 2021 will be so much better. (NOTE: I hear that every year)

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Lessons From A Good, Good Father

Lessons From A Good Good Father

Father’s day has been a tough day so far, and in general has historically been a hard day for me. There are some days when you want to put your kids in a sleeper hold, but you don’t. You embrace them instead. True story, but I have lost all fist fights against my dad.

I’m not the best dad in the world by far, but a lesson I learned from my dad, is to be there for my kids, because I’m battling a lot of daddy issues because he wasn’t. I see the damage done in my life, and my brother’s and sister’s life and I don’t want that for my kids.

And while at times I may be battle some of those demons of the past, and may even have moments of bitterness because of all the childhood issues, I see the silver lining. I see hope…..

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Is Your Marriage Rad or Bad: 10 Tips to Help

This week is my 4th wedding anniversary! Our marriage is really good, and if you are new to my story, at first glance you would never know that 4 years ago we were also struggling to stay married. Let me tell you, marriage is a rad and beautiful thing, that God entrusts us to manage and maintain. It’s not easy at times, and no matter how much you love your spouse, if you neglect even the smallest things in your marriage you are risking throwing it down the drain. As I said, I know because I’ve been there.

No one goes to bed saying “I’m going to trash my marriage. I invited another person into my life to live with me until death does us part, and I want to destroy this person now.” If you did go to bed saying this, then there are some underlying issues somewhere in your life, but for the most part, this is not a normal thought.

I have loved my wife for a long time, and I never thought that I was ever going to be one of thous statistic. 40-50% of marriages end in a divorce, and that is crazy stupid. So, as mentioned, a few years ago my wife and I were about to split shortly after we got married. Long story short, I was not properly tending to my marriage like I should, and it is only due to God’s grace and mercy that saved it. It was one of the hardest times in my life and I never felt so afraid.

My wife and I have reconciled, and have been working together to make our marriage the way God intends it to be, and everything is great! When we broke up I tried to fix things my way but was only making things worse. I was digging myself deeper and deeper and the only way out was to give up. So I gave up on trying to do it alone, and I gave my marriage to God and trusted that he was going to take care of us. I spent those months not only praying and fighting for my marriage, but studying what it means to love someone, and how to take care of it. I would now love to share all the information that I have came across over the years of studying a Godly marriage because I would never in a million years wish that pain on anyone.

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“God, what are you trying to teach me?”

So I have not posted much in the past two months. I’ve been busy and June hit me hard, I mean really hard. I was sick and stressed, and had a hard time of recovery.  I’m the type of person that will wait until I absolutely have to go to the doctor before I go. So, I was feeling really cruddy and did what everyone else does, and I looked up my symptoms online. With fevers, boating, sharp pain, tiredness, all the symptoms pointed to possible appendicitis. You know the alien bursting out of your chest kind of pain. Yeah… so I went to Urgent Care. I waited, and waited, and when I finally got in, they asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas, but that it could be appendicitis, said they couldn’t help me with that and if it was like that the next day to go to the ER for a CT Scan, and then charged me $300.

Well, that sucked….and guess what. I did not feel good the next day. I waited until about midday and then had my wife take me to the ER. So we are in the waiting room with the kids. We waited and waited, and then I let me wife take the kids home, and told her I would call her for a pickup. When I finally got in, I laid in my gown for maybe an hour in a really cold room, then finally someone came in, asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas and sent me on my way…with a bigger bill (cough, cough)

I was still feeling sick, and worn out from being dehydrated. I called my wife to pick me up. I waited and waited…and waited. In turns out, while my wife was on the way to turn in to the hospital, the transmission of our van blew out, which turned out to cost more than what we paid for the van. “Uhhhhh, why God are you testing me this week?” was what I was thinking.

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