“Let’s pee in the corner” …..and other misheard things in life.

October 25, 2019June 25, 2020 ~ John Johnson ~ 5 Comments

A while back my Lead Pastor, Worship Pastor and I were talking about misheard Lyrics. As friends, we busted up laughing. There are so many songs out there that it is easy to mishear some, and when you do it can be funny.

So I want to share with you my a list of 10 misheard lyrics that I think are super funny!

Starship – We Built This City
Misheard lyrics: We built this city, We built this city on sausage rolls
Actual lyrics: “We built this city, we built this city on rock an’ roll”
Queen – We Will Rock You
Misheard lyrics: “Kicking your cat all over the place”
Actual lyrics: “Kicking your can all over the place.”
Cutting Crew – I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight
Misheard lyrics: “I just died in your barn tonight, mustard no mayonnaise instead”
Actual lyrics: “I just died in your arms tonight, It must have been something you said”
Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart
Misheard lyrics: “Nothing I can say, I’m totally blitzed by a fart”
Actual lyrics: “Nothing I can say, A total eclipse of the heart”
Journey – Don’t Stop Believin’
Misheard lyrics: “Working hard to get my meal. Everybody wants a grill”
Actual lyrics: “Working hard to get my fill. Everybody wants a thrill”
Bon Jovi – Living On A Prayer
Misheard lyrics: “It doesn’t make a difference if we’re naked or not”
Actual lyrics: “It doesn’t make a difference if we make it or not”
Elton John – Tiny Dancer
Misheard lyrics: “Hold me closer, Tony Danza”
Actual lyric: “Hold me closer, tiny dancer”
OutKast – Hey Ya
Misheard lyrics: “Shake it, shake it, shake it like a polar bear ninja”
Actual lyrics: “Shake it, Shake it, Shake it like a Polaroid picture”
Guns N Roses – Knocking on Heaven’s Door
Misheard Lyrics: “Mama, put my gum on the ground, I can’t chew it anymore”
Actual Lyrics: “Mama, put my guns in the ground, I can’t shoot them anymore”

And my number one is….

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“God, what are you trying to teach me?”

August 14, 2019June 25, 2020 ~ John Johnson ~ 19 Comments

So I have not posted much in the past two months. I’ve been busy and June hit me hard, I mean really hard. I was sick and stressed, and had a hard time of recovery. I’m the type of person that will wait until I absolutely have to go to the doctor before I go. So, I was feeling really cruddy and did what everyone else does, and I looked up my symptoms online. With fevers, boating, sharp pain, tiredness, all the symptoms pointed to possible appendicitis. You know the alien bursting out of your chest kind of pain. Yeah… so I went to Urgent Care. I waited, and waited, and when I finally got in, they asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas, but that it could be appendicitis, said they couldn’t help me with that and if it was like that the next day to go to the ER for a CT Scan, and then charged me $300.

Well, that sucked….and guess what. I did not feel good the next day. I waited until about midday and then had my wife take me to the ER. So we are in the waiting room with the kids. We waited and waited, and then I let me wife take the kids home, and told her I would call her for a pickup. When I finally got in, I laid in my gown for maybe an hour in a really cold room, then finally someone came in, asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas and sent me on my way…with a bigger bill (cough, cough)

I was still feeling sick, and worn out from being dehydrated. I called my wife to pick me up. I waited and waited…and waited. In turns out, while my wife was on the way to turn in to the hospital, the transmission of our van blew out, which turned out to cost more than what we paid for the van. “Uhhhhh, why God are you testing me this week?” was what I was thinking.

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We Built This City on a Rock that Rolled

April 20, 2019June 25, 2020 ~ John Johnson ~ 14 Comments

This week is Holy Week, and this marks the cornerstone of the Christian Faith. The events that took place a couple thousand years ago, changed the faith of the Jewish culture and changed the world. This is a big deal! I will say one of the biggest events that I think a lot of people overlook is the tomb being empty.

I’ve been working on a youth lesson for Easter about the importance of the tomb being empty. Empty….is good….. is proof….is powerful….is permanent! I’m excited! I’ve had this other idea in my head for some time now, but I think it that might go over teenagers heads, but a few weeks back I caught myself singing along to We Build This City on Rock and Roll by Starship and thinking to myself that if you just change two words in the title you have your self a good Sermon title. So here we are with “We Built This City on a Rock That Rolled”

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