“God, what are you trying to teach me?”

So I have not posted much in the past two months. I’ve been busy and June hit me hard, I mean really hard. I was sick and stressed, and had a hard time of recovery.  I’m the type of person that will wait until I absolutely have to go to the doctor before I go. So, I was feeling really cruddy and did what everyone else does, and I looked up my symptoms online. With fevers, boating, sharp pain, tiredness, all the symptoms pointed to possible appendicitis. You know the alien bursting out of your chest kind of pain. Yeah… so I went to Urgent Care. I waited, and waited, and when I finally got in, they asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas, but that it could be appendicitis, said they couldn’t help me with that and if it was like that the next day to go to the ER for a CT Scan, and then charged me $300.

Well, that sucked….and guess what. I did not feel good the next day. I waited until about midday and then had my wife take me to the ER. So we are in the waiting room with the kids. We waited and waited, and then I let me wife take the kids home, and told her I would call her for a pickup. When I finally got in, I laid in my gown for maybe an hour in a really cold room, then finally someone came in, asked for my symptoms, told me that it might be gas and sent me on my way…with a bigger bill (cough, cough)

I was still feeling sick, and worn out from being dehydrated. I called my wife to pick me up. I waited and waited…and waited. In turns out, while my wife was on the way to turn in to the hospital, the transmission of our van blew out, which turned out to cost more than what we paid for the van. “Uhhhhh, why God are you testing me this week?” was what I was thinking.

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God Loves You More Than 3000

God Loves You More Than 3000

In my latest post This is the Endgame I had wrote about God’s final plan, and how Jesus defeats death. The question is why? We see in the bible that God has had a few times to wipe us out and start over. We have caused many issues for God, yet He never gives up on us. Why? Why set plans in motion to redeem us, when all we do is destroy this world, hurt people and even deny God?

Endgame Spoilers ahead.

In Avengers Endgame we see Iron Man make one last snap to destroy Thanos. Despite his rocky relationship with his fellow teammates, he gives it all he has to subdue his enemy. He knows that the snap severely injured Thanos and the Hulk and that he will not survive. Why did he do that?

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His Legacy

So this song has been in and out of my head for a few weeks now.

There is tons of Christian music out there, and I’m not necessarily a fan of Casting Crowns, but this song has been making me think a lot. (Please don’t read to much into that. I don’t hate them, but there is so much music out there that I listen to a different style, and I’m not the biggest on K Love. Again, not bad, but not my tea)

It’s catchy for sure, and I may have been thinking about the purpose of the church, which has gotten me thinking, what is my purpose as a pastor, and such. Good thoughts for sure! The lyrics popping into my head on repeat are:

“And I, I don’t want to leave a legacy
I don’t care if they remember me
Only Jesus
And I, I’ve only got one life to live
I’ll let every second point to Him
Only Jesus”

Not to get into details, because the pastoral team I’m on have been doing some of the same thinking, so I don’t want to spoiler that, but as I ponder this question for myself, I ask that my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ reflect on this with me.

Are we trying to build an empire for ourselves, or are we directing people to the Kingdom?

Does my daily life reflect that of Jesus? Do my co-workers see this without me being all preachy? Do my students really feel I practice what I preach? Do my kids and wife see it behind closed doors and in private?

I want to say yes and vehemently hope that this points people to the hope of what Jesus can do. Before Him, I was foolish and a legacy I leave behind, without Him is just a man in his foolish ways.

Thoughts are running extra-strong tonight. Lord, thank you for this life!

*Originally my Facebook post from February 18th, 2018


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Only Jesus – Casting Crowns